Mindless Theater
by Brock's Accomplice
Summary: If you seriously want to laugh till you cry, then read. Go into the minds of Brock, Ash, and James for a day each.
1. Brock

A/N: For all that don't know. ( ) Means thoughts.  
  
  
  
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Mindless Theater. Let's sit back and listen to a tale. A tale so disturbing that you might want some teddy bears... Or at least some popcorn. This is a story about a boy, but not just any boy, a boy that sees the world through squinty eyes if even at all, a boy with spiky hair... A boy who happens to be Brock. Scary ain't it? *The screen shifts to reveal a spiky haired squinty-eyed guy.* Now, let the story begin...  
  
"Would you two stop fighting?!" (Gesh! They always fight! Why don't they ever try kissing instead! Kissing... I wonder if any Jennys or Joys are around here... OH! A city! HA HA)! "Hey look! A city!" Ash yells. (Did I already say that?) "Yup! And look at all the Pretty girls!" (Oh wait... don't want to come on to strongly... might scare them off... got to make it cool... real cool. Just make it cool boy, real cool. If you have a rocket inside your pocket just put it out and make it cool boy! Real cool...) He wonders into the city with Ash and Misty casually looking  
  
around. A Nurse Joy walks by with a bunch of wounded Pokemon. (AH! JOY! Okay... don't scare her off now, just play it slowly...) He runs up to her. "AH! Can I help you?! Please let me help you! You can't carry all those Pokemon like that! You should have some one out here to help  
  
such a pretty girl! Your a lot prettier then the other Joys... Tell me, are you free Saturday?" (Oh, Bravo...*clap clap clap* That was just so cool and calm. You should be proud of your self.) "Uh... Sure I guess." She hands him, Ash, and Misty some. "Thanks..." "Nurse Joy? What happened to all these Pokemon?" Ash asked. (She should have a painting made after her. I  
  
wonder if she'd mind taking her picture with me...) "We don't know... all the Pokemon in this city are mysteriously getting sick! We don't know what's causing it!" "That's awful! Here, let me get the door for you. Such a pretty lady should always have some one opening doors for her!" "You don't know what's causing it?" Misty asked. "No, This place is so busy now, that we had to enlist the help of my relatives and the police force." Brock froze. (Can't be... but did she just say what I think she said? No... She's toying with you! Well, two can play at that game! Sock her back! Sock her back!) "I have Pokemon to, I own my own gym, Pewter city!" They all stared at Brock. "Um... that's nice..." She nodded. (Yeah! You got her on the run now! Soon she'll be beating them down just to get at you!) "Any way, we could still use all the help we could get. Do you know any one who could help out around here? I would ask you but you guys need to train for your badges." "Oh! We'd love to help out! We can train later! Helping sick Pokemon should be on every Pokemon Masters list!" Ash stepped forward. "Yeah! We can help out as long as you need us!" "Any one who wouldn't help out a sick Pokemon should be  
  
disgraced!" He stops and nearly has heart failure as they enter into the main hall. (OHMYGOSH! She was telling the truth! This is more then I could hope for! LOOK AT ALL THE JENNYS AND JOYS AND PRETTY GIRLS!!! Okay... breath! Breath! Got to remember to breath! But if I don't breath, I might pass out and then they would have to help me... and give me mouth to mouth... No, better to stay awake... I might miss the chance to ask one out! Okay... try to look cool...hot... in charge...) "Um... Is your friend alright?" Ash and Misty look at Brock. "Yeah, he's fine." "Oh... does he normally breath like that? Almost like he's having to force himself to breath..." Misty waves a hand in front of his face. "Yeah, He's fine. Normal old Brock..." He runs off. "HIMYNAMEISBROCK! YOURGORGIOUS!" He shoots to a real pretty girl. "Hi my name is Brock! Nice to meet you! Can I have your number? Hello?!" He gets on a table to be heard above them all. "OKAY! LADIES? My Name is Brock! Gym leader of Pewter city! I would like you all to sine my little black book! And leave your numbers! I'm going to leave it right here at the front desk! So when you have time or are just passing by, please take time to sign it! THANK YOU! And don't worry; I'm also carrying a spare with me! So if you see me, just ask and you can write it there too! THANK YOU!" Ash and Misty Sweat drops. "Yup... he's just fine..." (YEAH! I couldn't have done it better! You're bound to get something now! Now, slowly get off the desk and impress the ladies with your Pokemon help and knowledge. Whoa... careful now... hey! Watch out for that...!) "WHOA!" **CRASH!** (Spinning chair with the wheels...) "I'm okay! Never fear ladies! It'll take more then that to keep me from helping you girls out!" (Nice save! We are on a roll!) "Oh man… he's on  
  
total hunting mode..." Ash smacked his face then goes to help with some Pokemon with Misty. (Okay... don't panic.... your doing just great... your alone in a hospital full of beautiful girls... Whoa... Okay... your here to do a job... you have to help out with...) a bunch of girls walk by. (To... to... help out.... with... pretty girls and their numbers.... and... NO! Bad! You can do that later... you have to help out with...Pokemon... and their pretty girls... to....) He follows a bunch of Jennys and Joys with a bunch of sick Charmanders, and wigglytuff. "Need any help? Of course you do! What can I do for you? You know... I really could use some numbers to fill up my little black book..." "This poor Wiggly tuff needs some water and a scan to see if we can't figure out what the trouble is!" "I'm on it!" He runs off then comes back. "Um... where would the scanning room be?" "Around the corner by our helper Wigglytuff. You can't miss it. Just be careful... Wigglytuff is in a bad mood... Um... Okay.." He ran off before he could hear the part about the bad mood Wigglytuff. (Got to get to that scan room! Need to get some water for that nice Joy and Jenny! By Wigglytuff... can't miss it! Oh, pretty girl! Not now! You have a Joy and Jenny to impress! There! That Wigglytuff. Kinda looks failure... like that one that was with Spielbunk... the movie Director...) "AHHH! WIGGLYTUFF! I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE SCAN ROOM IS TO GET SOME WATER FOR ALL THOSE JOYS AND JENNYS!!!" "Wiggly?" "NO! I DON'T HAVE A CAMERA! JUST TELL ME WHERE THE SCAN ROOM IS!" (Careful now... that sure looks like that ill tempered Wigglytuff you've met before...) "Wiggly! Wiggly wiggly!" "I don't care if you are a famous star! AHH! Pretty girl... must get number... OUT OF MY WAY!!!" *yanks out black book and holds it out* "WIGGLY!! TUFF!" (Whoa.... AHHHH!!!) It slaps him hard. "Tuff! Wiggly! Tuff! Wiggly! Tuff!" "AHHH!!! OW! UH, Miss?! THAT NUMBER?! AHH! OW! OW! NUMBERS!!! Miss? NOO!!!" (She got away... Okay... just get away from this crazy Wigglytuff and get that water! Slowly... careful... slowly... OW!) He crawls away and gets the water then runs back to the Joys and Jennys. "I'm here!" They stare at him. "What happened to you?!" "Oh my!" He has bruises all over and a black eye or two with a few lumps. "Wigglytuff...But I'm okay! It'll take more then that make me let you down!" (Yeah! Show them how tough you are!) "Hey... about those numbers..." The lights flicker then music is pumped over the loud speakers. "What in the world?" They all run out to find Ash and Misty already in the lobby looking around. "What's going on?" Ash yells. "That music sounds familiar..." Misty thinks out loud. (Oh! LOOK! THEY'RE ALL IN THE SAME ROOM! Okay... use this opportunity! Quietly get out your books and pass them both around... that's it... no sudden movements... Slowly. NO! Oh, that was close call... don't want to drop that thing... there we go. Good boy...) "Prepare for Trouble!" "Make it double!" Ash and Misty groan. "It can't be! AHHH!!! I'm thinking of taking out a Stalking Charge against them..." Ash groans. "Or at least get a restraining order..." They yawn as Jessie and James go threw the Motto. "Hey! No yawning when we're reciting the motto!" Jessie Yells. "What do you want? You'd have to be insane to think of pulling something off with all these Jennys around!" Misty Yells. (Oh! Look! Another pretty face! Okay... hand her your book... look casual.) He hands the girl his book and she just stares down at it. "What in the World?" They all stare at Brock. (What?  
  
Did I do something wrong? Is my hair messed up?) He looks at the girl he just handed the book to. "AHHHHH!" (EWH! I JUST TRIED TO GET JESSIE'S NUMBER!!! But then again... she is kinda pretty... like a Nurse Joy... same red hair...) "Jessie? I think he wants your Autograph!" James laughs. "It's about time you twerps showed us some respect!" Brock snatches back the book that James is now holding. "What do you two want? Can't you see I'm...era...We're busy? We have a lot of pretty..."(watch it!) "Sick Pokemon here!" (Nice save!) "We know. With the help of our Vileplume toxin, we can now catch lots of these sick Pokemon and take them for ourselves! With the antidote too! Ha ha ha!" "Ooooh! I love being bad!" "Meowth! Enough! You two numskulls ever 'tink that if we didn't stop to tell 'em our plans, then we might get away wit it?!" "Oh." (Oh man... I'm missing out on valuable girl time! Come on Ash! Just get out Old Pikachu here, make them blast off again, and then I get my book back full of numbers and then every one is happy!) "Pikachu! Pi! Pi pi kachu!" (There we go...) "Pikachu! Thunder bolt!" "PI-KA-CHU!" "AHHH!!! LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" *dink!* (Yeah! Now every  
  
one says something, we all get back to work... I find my book.... nice and easy now...) "Hey! Look! They left behind the cure! We can cure all these Pokemon!" Misty shouted. Every one cheered. And went back to work. (Yes! Now once they are all cured... I find the book, and a nice phone...) A little later they were leaving the PMC and waving at them all. "BYE GIRLS!!!! Remember! If you ever feel lonely or are free anytime, just call Brock! That's Brock of Pewter City Gym!" (Good... now wave like an idiot for a few more minutes... let them get a good look at your face... now smile...) He gets a big stupid grin on his face. (Good.... now turn and walk off with Ash... just not into Ash...) "So. Did you get any numbers?" (Now don't act desperate, play it cool, numbers? What numbers? Oh, I almost forgot! See? Cool!) "Numbers? Eh, maybe... I'll look at it later..." (No! What are you?! Nuts! Look at it now!) "Gesh... just trying to play it cool... make up your mind..." They blink at Brock. "What?" (Oh, now look what you did! You talked out loud! Just open it and see who you got!) He opens the book and groans. "Oh no!" (AHH!!! Not that! You got Wigglytuff's Number! Okay... don't panic! Ash and Misty are watching! Just play it like you got lots of them! Now put it away and don't panic! You have another book! That was just the one at the counter! You haven't checked the one you were passing around and carrying around with you.) He opens that one. "What the?!" (YOU GOT JAMES'S NUMBER?! AND WHAT THE HECK IS THAT NEXT TO IT?! A SMILEY FACE?!) "So who's did you get Brock?" Ash asked smugly. (AH! Okay... don't panic! Think of an excuse!) "Um, they were all to busy to sign it! They probably just forgot... That's all... just forgot..." (Yes... nice excuse... next time, bring enough books for EACH AND EVERY GIRL! See if they forget then... Stupid Team Rocket...) "Oh, right... Hey Misty! Wait up!" He runs up to walk next to her. (Oh yeah! SHOW OFF ASH! He's got a girl! Well, I could get a girl if I wanted to!) "And I really want to..." They look at him. "What?" "Nothing...Just nothing..."  
  
This has been, Mindless Theater. We hope you enjoyed the show, and if you didn't, then give us back the complementary teddy bears and go away. Thank you. Join us next time as we take another look into some one else's day and pointless mind. Thank you! Come again!  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, or any of the characters. I do own Mindless Theater though... As far as I know. So hands off! And the teddy bears aren't mine either... they belong to Teddy Roosevelt! (Bet yah didn't know that! See? I do pay attention in school!) And If I left out any of that legal mombo-jombo (that would make a pretty cool song) Then I'm sorry! Don't have a cow! Suing isn't going to get you anywhere! The story has been written, and there's nothing you can do about it but take my dimes! (Not my precious Dime collection! NOOOOOO!!!) Thank you. (I think?) 


	2. Ash

A/N: Still here huh? Brave enough for the second person? WELL I COMMEND YOU! BRAVO!  
  
  
  
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another episode of Mindless Theater. Let's sit back and listen to a tale. A tale so disturbing that you might want some teddy bears... Or at least some popcorn. This is a story about a boy, but not just any boy. A boy who is on a journey with a squinty guy, a tempered girl, and a yellow ketchup addicted mouse. His name... is Ash. *Screen shifts to show a boy with messy black hair, big brown eyes, and a dirty old league hat.* Now let us begin...  
  
"We're lost again aren't we?" Misty asked as he consulted a big map. "No..." Brock looks over his shoulder and looks at the map too. "Hmmm..." (AH! Gesh! I hate it when he does that! You never know what he's looking at, or what he's thinking! With those squinty eyes... It's a wonder he doesn't walk into more trees! Hey...) He holds the map up. (Uh-Oh... okay... so you had the map upside down... maybe he hasn't noticed yet...Ha, good one. How can he notice! He can't see! Okay... Misty has that look on her face... quick! Is it the mallet look, or the fighting look? Um... um... Okay... just turn the map around... and figure it out before you say hello to the ground again!) "Hey... is that a Nurse Joy?" Brock nearly runs over Misty as he leaps over to the direction He pointed. (Good! Quick! Flip the map!) Flips it. "Oh... I know where we are!" Brock sulks back. "You need your eyes checked... it was a bush." "Alright Mr. get us lost... where are we?" Misty walks over to him. (Okay... no sudden movements... don't want to draw her attention in this mood. Remember that time last month... WHAMO! You saw stars for a week!) "Uh... right here." Points proudly at the map. "Ash! That's a ketchup stain!" (Oh crud...)"Pikachu! Did you spill ketchup all over the map?" "Pikachu...." "Ash! That's it! I'm leading!" "Yeah... like your gonna find a way out. You couldn't find your way out of a one door room!" (Hey! What did I tell you! Don't tick off that girl till you find and burn that mallet of hers! AHH! DUCK!) **WHAMO!** "Gawwhh..." (Okay... that's it... I'm gonna start to write out everything NOT to say to that girl...) "I can lead circles around you!" "Right. You and..."(HEY! Shut your mouth... nod and back away slowly... go walk by Brock. He's safe to walk by. Nice and sane too.) Looks at Brock. "You think we'll see any Joys or Jennys any time soon? I'm sure they simply forgot to give me their numbers in all the chaos." Brock has that dreamy look on his face as he walks into a tree. "Um..." (Okay... then again...) "I'll walk by Misty instead. She's prettier anyway." Misty looks up from the Map. "Huh? Did you say something Ash?" (GAH! Did you say that out loud?) "No." "Okay." He walks next to Misty looking around for Pokemon. (Hmm... Pokemon... oh Pokemon...where are you? Come on out! I wanna get yah! And then I'll be your friend, and then we'll be masters! Ha ha ha haha! Uh oh... Okay... don't panic... I don't know where Pikachu is. Okay... where is Pikachu? Don't panic... just look around...) He spins around looking for Pikachu. "Uhhh...." Misty cocks an eyebrow at him. "Lose something Ash?" "Um..." (Oh wait... there he is. He's on your head... silly me... sorry... false alarm.) "No, I found it. No thanks to you..." He mumbles last part to self. (Oh, you wanna start something? Bring it on! Hey... is that a patch of disturbed dirt?) "What?" Misty looks at him. "Ash? Did you hit your head or anything? Maybe you walked into a tree?" "WHOA!" They all yell out together as they fall into a hole. (I told you to watch out! But did you listen to me?! NO! You never listen to common sense! What am I? Invisible? Okay... here it comes... three.) They all rub their backsides and wait. (Two... Grab hold of Pikachu and get him ready.) "You okay Misty?" He looks at here and locates Pikachu. "Yeah. You okay Ash?" He nods. "I'm okay to... thanks for asking! It's a good thing I broke both your falls! Wasn't it nice of me?" Brock speaks up from below them. (One. Here we go!) "Prepare for Trouble!" Jessie jumps out. "And Make it double!" James flies out after her. (Oh yeah... what did I tell yah? Hmm... Maybe If we got a motto, they would stop saying theirs...) "Not again... cant you guys just realize your losers and go bother some one else? I mean, Ash beats you all the time! And look at him!" Misty yells out. "Hey!" He looks at her. "But she does have a point! Can't you go bother some one else? Like Gary! He'd fit right in with you guys! Go try and steal something from Gary! I need my time!" "And what's the big idea giving me your number?!" Brock yells up at James. "That space could have been used for A Joy or Jenny!" "Well, tuff! I got there first!" "Enough of this! We have a Pikachu to nab!" Meowth stepped forward. "Right! Anti-Pikachu suits on!" They toss them on and send out a lasso to grab Pikachu. "PI PIKA!" "HEY! Give back my Pikachu!" (And once again... do you listen to me? No! Why do I even bother with the common sense and jumping to a logical conclusion?! Gesh... Next time, I drive!) "Thanks for the Pikachu!" Jessie waved. "Call me!" James yelled out with a laugh. "Let's scram!" Meowth takes off. (Oh, this is just perfect! Okay, got to get out... Hey I'm in a hole with Misty... Later...Um, okay. Use Brock to get out.) He steps on Brock and climbs out. "Pikachu!" "Ash! A little help?" Misty stood on Brock's head trying to get out. "What do you use in your hair Brock? Those spikes are like the spikes of doom!" She yelled at him. (Okay, which way did they go? How fast, and when?) "Okay, they went that way, kinda fast, and just now." (Good, lets go! Boy, I could sure use a bike right now...) "Hey, don't you start on me to!" (Okay, They're giving you weird looks, remember our little talk?) "Yeah, sorry." (It's okay, now lets go get that Pikachu!) "Whoa!" He trips over something. "Ash! Are you okay?" Misty went to him. (Oh! She's worried! Okay, follow my lead. 'No, I'm not okay! I just fell over this stupid trail of bottle caps and had my Pikachu was stolen!' Trust me! Just turn on the pathetic look, and she'll be all over you!) "Wait... what was that part about the trail of bottle caps!" (Huh?) "Bottle caps?" Misty looked at him. "Hey! It's a trail of Bottle caps! Good work Ash! It goes in this direction!" Brock called out as he took off. (Oh, that. Yeah. I knew that.) "Right..." Takes off down the trail with Misty. They come to a wood cabin. (Oh, yeah. There they are. Hey... new motto! Yeah!) "I got an Idea!" "Me to..." Misty smiles. "Lets go!" "You think a pretty girl owned this place?" Brock asked. (Okay, you still got that outfit from that Ditto place? Good.) "Ready?" "Yes!"  
  
Mean while, inside. "We got it!" Jessie grinned. "And this time, we got away! Alright!" Meowth laughed at Pikachu. "We have any doughnuts left?" James whined. "Who cares! After this, well buy all the doughnuts in the world!" Jessie smacked him on the head with her fan. Suddenly the lights go out. "Prepare for Trouble!" Misty jumped out dressed like Jessie. "Better make that Double!!" Ash jumped out dressed like James. "AHH! NOT AGAIN! STOP MOCKING US!!!" James growled. "To protect the world from losers like you!" Misty pointed at them. "To unite our trio with Pikachu!" Ash stepped up. "To be there for those that we love!" Misty slightly blushed. "To reach out to the stars above!" Ash grinned. "Hey, that's not bad..." James considered. "Whose side are you on?!" Jessie smacked him again. "MISTY!" She posed like Jessie does. "Ash!" Stood back to back next to Misty. "Team Twerp Forever unites!" "Blast off now, cause you're gonna lose every fight!" They both put up the V for victory sign. Suddenly Brock came up behind them, having gotten Pikachu during the distractions. "That's Right!" (It worked! Hey... Misty doesn't look so bad in the skirt...Whoa! Keep on track! Okay, we have Pikachu! Now lets get out of here!) "Come on! Lets go!" They all run out of there with Pikachu, still tied up. "That was good work Brock!" Once out side. "And did you see the looks on their faces?" Misty laughed. "And you two weren't that bad! That was a better motto! How did you come up with it Ash?" Brock handed him Pikachu back. "I hear that thing everyday! It's kinda hard not to make up new words to it." (Yeah, and to get Misty into that skirt. She looks better when not in that old outfit of her's. Hey... why is she staring at me? Do I have something on my face? Is my hair messed up? What?) "You don't look so bad in that outfit Ash." (Oh... that. Um, was that a complement? Yes! She's being nice to you! Don't mess it up! Say thank you and return the complement!) "You should keep that out fit for yourself, it's better then that old crummy thing you wear." (Okay, she's turning red... I thought I told you not to mess it up! Okay, you're not in the hole yet.) "I happen to like that 'old crummy outfit! Ash!" "Well, it's just that I figure you might want to dress like a girl sometimes." (Danger! Danger! Going down! Arm the lifeboats!) "One of us has to! I only said that you looked nice in it! Better then James! But at least he's a man!" "Oh, yeah right! Last time we saw him, he was in a pink tutu! At least he looks good in girls' cloths! Unlike some people I know!" Brock sweat dropped with Pikachu. (AH! Enemy ships have been sited! We're locked on! AHH! ABANDON SHIP!) "YOU WOULDN'T KNOW PRETTY IF IT LANDED ON YOU!" She pulls out her mallet and **WHAMO!** "Gawahhhh!" (Whoa... did any one get the number of that Snorlax? Which way did he go? Which way did he go?) "How cute! They're fighting!" Jessie called down from the balloon. "I'd say more like Flirting!" James giggled. "Hey!" "WE ARE NOT!" They both yell up at them. "What do you want now? We already went through this!" Brock groaned. (Okay, here it comes... the motto again... blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blab!) "Hey twerp! That's a nice way to show her you love her!" Meowth called down to him. (OH! That's it! Let me at him! Let me at him! Don't make me come out there!) "I DO NOT!" "HE DOES NOT!" They yell at them. "Enough of this! Turn on the Anti Pikachu Vac!" Jessie calls out. "Right!" James arms it and aims. (Okay, that's it! Time to meet Mr. Fed-up! Come on! Lets get them!) Pikachu flies through the air towards the vac. "Pikachu!" Ash leaps up and grabs hold of the balloon. "Pikachu! THUNDERBOLT! NOW!" Pikachu grins. "PiiiiiiKaaaaaCHUUUU!!!" The balloon lights up. (Okay, careful...) He climbs up and pokes a hole in the balloon. (SEE YAH LOSERS!) "AHHHH!!!" "LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" *DINK!* (Oh yeah! Whose da man?! Whose da man?! Oh yeah! Thank you! Thank you!) "Pikachu!" He hugs Ash. "Good job Pikachu!" Misty and Brock grin. "They never learn." (Okay... I knew it would work. It was all me. You were just there! Now hug Misty and don't start anything again!) "Yeah, right. Dream on." he mumbles to himself. "What?" "Nothing. Come on! I saw the way out of the woods when up on the balloon!" (No you didn't) "Quiet you!" He talks to himself. "Right, like I'm gonna follow you again...." Misty takes out a map. "Not again! This is where we started!" Brock moaned then walked into a tree. (Hey, just let Misty lead. Then you can stare at her... *Wink wink!*) "Okay, You can lead this time Misty." "Thank you." She takes the lead. (Okay... now remember, find the mallet, burn it, then you can say anything!) "Anything? Like Misty, your really pretty?" (AH! NOT OUT LOUD! AHH!) "Did you say something Ash?" "Gah! No! Just talking to Pikachu!" (Who's on your head. Don't panic... Gesh... okay, that's it. I'm in charge now.) "Roger."  
  
This has been, Mindless Theater. We hope you enjoyed the show, and if you didn't, then give us back the complementary teddy bears and go away. Thank you. Join us next time as we take another look into some one else's day and pointless mind. Thank you! Come again!  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, or any of the characters. I do own Mindless Theater though... As far as I know. So hands off! And the teddy bears aren't mine either... they belong to Teddy Roosevelt! (bet yah didn't know that! See? I do pay attention in school!) And If I left out any of that legal mombo-jombo (that would make a pretty cool song) Then I'm sorry! Don't have a cow! Suing isn't going to get you anywhere! The story has been written, and there's nothing you can do about it but take my dimes! (Not my precious Dime collection! NOOOOOO!!!) Thank you. (I think?) 


	3. James

A/N: For all that don't know. ( ) Means thoughts. Thanks for reading still! Bravo to you! (Took me long enough to write more, didn't I? Evil school…)  
  
  
  
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Mindless Theater. Let's sit back and listen to a tale. A tale so disturbing that you might want some teddy bears... Or at least some popcorn. This is a story about a boy, but not just any boy, a boy that travels with a hot-tempered red head, a loud mouth Meowth, and happens to be in Team Rocket... That's right, a boy who happens to be James. *The screen shifts to reveal a blue haired, green-eyed guy looking pouty. * Now, let the story begin...  
  
"Jessie… I'm tired of walking, It's past lunch time, and I want a doughnut!" (Okay, that's the 1,622 rock shaped like a doughnut I've seen.) "I KNOW you're hungry! You're ALLWAYS hungry! I'm hungry to! And if you complain one more time, I'm going to make you wish you hadn't!" Jessie glared at him. (Awe… I'll bet she has all the food to. Maybe I have some crumbs or something in my pocket. Let's see… Lucky bottle cap, string collection, ball of lint, that leaf shaped like a fork, and… What the? Oh! It's Brock's pen! He won't be needing it.) "Meowth, are you sure you saw the twerps going this way? Shouldn't we be in FRONT of them so we can get ready?" Jessie grumbled. Meowth turned around and waved his arms about. "I don't see Yous guys doing anyting ta help! And we need this to work this time! Da Boss wants us to call him later today!" "WHAT?!" (What? The boss?! Maybe he found out about that time that I wasted all his funds on that bottle cap collection! Okay, don't panic, that can't be it. Maybe it's about his car… No… How could he have found out about that? I covered up my tracks to well for that… Didn't I?) "Great! We'd better come up with a plan! Meowth, James! Get the shovels!" "I thought you had da shovels!" (Uh oh, I was the last one with the shovels… Think! Where did you put them? Okay, I was walking… and I saw that peddler, and he had food… and… Uh oh. I traded them for a doughnut!) "Um…" They all turned to stare at James. "You lost our shovels?!" (AHH! Here comes the fan! Run! Hide! Find new shovels! Anything!) He falls over and plays dead. (Anything but that! How is that gonna… What was that sound?) Jessie smacked him hard. "Ow! I'm sorry! I'll get them back! Did you hear that?" They all went quiet. "Hear what? All I hear is your stomach complaining just as much as you do!" Jessie griped. (I know that sound! IT'S THE SOUND OF RICE BALLS BEING MADE! AND A CAN OPENER!) "It's the twerps! They're having lunch!" They all ran over to some bushes. "How dare they eat while we're out here starving!" "I'm wasting away over here and they're pigging out!" "Quiet! We can nab that Pikachu and scram before they even make it to dessert!" Meowth and Jessie grinned and looked at Pikachu. "Do you think they'll have doughnuts for dessert?" (Oh… Doughnuts, that would be good. Okay, here's the plan, they get Pikachu, and you get the food. And this time, eat it right away!) SMACK! "We have more important things to worry about! Like what we'll say to the boss if we fail again!" "Yeah! We're already on his headache list!" Meowth grumbled. "Headache list?" "He actually has one? I thought that was a myth!" "Never mind! Let's just go!" "Check list!" James took out the list. "Rubber gloves, Check! Rope, Check! Plan A, B, C, and D? Check! Mechanical thing? Check! Fire suits? Check. Pokeballs, check. Costumes? Check! Get- away-balloon? Check!" (Rose? Check. Lucky bottle cap? Check. Bag for the food? Check. Have you practiced your evil laugh? Yes. Got the motto? Of course!) "Let's go! Disguise plan a!" They put on their outfits. "Jessie, why do I have to be the decoy?" "Because you're the best at being the dummy! Now shut up and get out there!" Jessie shoved him out of the bushes. (Okay… Don't panic. Just get their attention!) "AHEM!" The twerps all looked up at the 'woman' who looked lost. He was in a long blue dress and had a shawl on over his head tied tightly. (I knew I should have worn the green shawl. But noooo…. We had to go for the purple one! I just KNOW it clashes with my hair….) "Uhh…can we help you Miss?" Ash spoke up. "Yes. I was wondering if any of you twer…nice kids might happen to know the way to the nearest Pokémon Center. See, I have this sick pokémon and it needs attention right away!" (Good! Now get that nice girly voice just right! Excellent!) "Oh, A sick pokémon? The poor thing! What type is it?" Misty ventured forward. (Uh oh… Uhh… A pikachu! No, they have a pikachu. Oh! I know!) "It's a Jigglypuff. It's lost its jiggle and it's all puffed out. Actually, it kinda looks like a deflated balloon now. Maybe I shouldn't have let it play with those pinecones…" (Bravo! You could go to the big times with this act!) Ash blinked. "Hey Misty, she kinda looks familiar…" Misty shrugged, "That's what you always say Ash." (Oh! There goes Jessie and Meowth! Careful… careful… YES! They got it! Okay, and there they go… Time for a quick get away!) "Oh, Wait… Silly me, I just remembered that I don't have any pokémon! Welp, Got to go now! Bye!" He turned around to run. (Easy as cake…Mmm… Cake… WHOA! WATCH OUT FOR THAT….) CRASH!!!!! (Tent…Ah! You lost your lucky bottle cap! Where did it go? Wait, we don't have time for this, do we? No! But… It's the lucky bottle cap… We'll just buy a new one! But it wont be the LUCKY bottle cap. Oh for the love of… Make it fast! They're starting to look suspicious!) "Are you alright Miss?" Brock gave him a weird look. "What? Yes! I just lost my… contact lens! No one move!" (Good plan… Now slowly start to crawl for the bushes.) "Remember, don't move! You might crush my lens! Heh heh…" Suddenly a rather loud sound came from the bushes. "PIIIKAAACHU!!!" (Uh oh! Well, at least I didn't mess it up this time! Ha ha ha! Wait, that's bad! AHH!) "What?" Ash turned around to see Meowth fly out of the bush still trying to shove Pikachu into a bag. Jessie jumped out after him. "Meowth! You clutz!" "It's Team Rocket!" Ash, always having to be the first one to point out the obvious, yelled out. (Welp, the gig is up! Quick! Time for the motto! Now just get out of the dress… Um, you DID remember to wear your uniform under it, right? Yes? Good. Once was enough.) "Ha ha ha ha!" Jessie laughed. (Oh! Evil laugh time! Yes! Give it your all!) "Ohh Ha ha ha ha!" (Wow! That was the best one yet! Yes, You are the master!) "Prepare for trouble!" Jessie cackled. "And Make that double!" (Okay, take out the rose! Careful! Watch the thorns this time! Those hurt!) "To protect the world from Devastation!" To Unite…" "Give me back my Pikachu! (ARGH! THEY DID IT AGAIN! THEY NEVER DO IT TO JESSIE! ALLWAYS ME! That's it! I go first from now on! I don't what the order says!) "Never interrupt the motto!" He growled. "To unite the world with in our nation!" "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the…" "Piiiikaaa!" (Okay, they do it one more time…I'll… I'll throw my rose at them!) "AHEM! To the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now, or prepare to…" "Hey, do you have my pen?" Brock suddenly yelled up. (That's it!) WHACK! The rose smacked Brock on the head. "Ow!" "I SAID prepare to fight!" "Meowth! That's right!" Ash glared at them. "Give me back my Pikachu! Don't make me blast you off again!" "Let me think about that, Umm… NO!" Jessie laughed. (Okay... slowly make your way over to the food… that's it… Don't get their attention… Good boy! Oh! DOUGHNUTS!) He shoved one in his mouth and grabbed the rest of the food into his bag. "Thanks for the Pikachu!" "Fanks for fe Food!" He shoved another doughnut into his mouth then took off. "Ha ha ha ha! See you later suckers!" They raced off into the bushes and heard the faint sound of Ash releasing some pokemon. (Faster! Here he comes!) "This is heavy!" (I told you not to grab the portable stove! Gesh!) Suddenly he ran smack dab into someone. "OW! Watch where you're going!" (Wait a second… Red hair… blue eyes… Jessie? But why would she be walking the other way… and why is she in that dress…OH DEAR GOD!!!!) "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "James! You aren't screaming properly!"  
  
Jessie and Meowth turned around at the sound of their partner screaming like a little baby. "What on earth?" The twerps ran into the clearing as well. "AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" "James deary! I've found you at last! And that terrible Growlithe isn't here either!" "JESSIE! HELP!" (Jessiebell! HOW DID SHE FIND ME?! What on earth is she doing out here anyways?! She NEVER goes out side like this!!) The twerps ran into the little clearing and stared. "It's her!" Meowth dropped the bad with Pikachu in it as Jessiebell looked at him. "Daahhh!" Pikachu scampered over to Ash. The twerp-trio looked at Jessiebell as she ran over to James, and then they took off, running full out. (Smart kids… Quick! I gotta get away! Think!) "Wheezing! Go! Smog attack!" "Wheezing! Weez…" Jessie ran over into the smog and dragged James away. "Jessie! Save me!"(How amazing! She's saving me from this evil! This monster!) "You still have the food James?" (Okay… she's saving the food… But at least I'm attached to the food! NOW RUN!) He jumped up and ran. "James darling! You aren't running properly! Come back so I can teach you how to be a gentleman!" "NO WAY! GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TORTURE YOU PYSHCO! AHHH!!!" "Meowth? WAIT FOR ME! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH HER!" They all took off at full speed, and jumped into the hot air balloon. "Must go faster! She's gaining on us!" (Would you look at her run! I'll bet she could out run a ponyta if she wanted to! Wait… she did that already. That one time you tried to get away and she over took your ponyta while she was on foot.) "She's gaining on us! Meowth, quick! Drop the sand bags! Maybe they'll hit her!" Meowth dropped the sandbags down at her, but amazingly, she skipped over them. "James! How did she find you? What did you do? Broadcast to the world where we were?!" Jessie glared at him as she tried to make the balloon go faster. "No! I don't know how she did it!" (Actually… There was that time a while ago when you got into that news guy's camera shot and waved. Oh man…. I KNEW this was all your fault!) "Okay! That's it! I'm not going back to her! I have an Idea! HA HA HA HA!!!" They looked at each other. "He's lost it." "Yup. Pressure's finally got to him." (Okay, just climb up to the balloon!) He jumps out and grabs the balloon. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Jessie looked up at him. "Don't worry! I've seen the twerp do this plenty of times! I'm almost positive I know what I'm doing!" "What?" Meowth looked down to see Jessiebell was right under them and had out her pokemon. (Okay, I need something sharp and pointy… Sharp and pointy… Bottle cap? No… to valuable… Oh! Brock's pen! Must remember to thank him later for it.) POP! The pen went in the balloon and they took off, leaving Jessiebell behind. "AHH! Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" DINK! "Wait! You aren't blasting off properly! Ohh… It's not fair!" Jessiebell called out.  
  
WHAM! They landed in a tree right over a pay phone. (HA HA HA!!! WE DID IT! YES!) He kissed the pen. "James! Next time be more careful! I don't want to have to ever do that again! And we lost Pikachu again!" "Yeah! This is YOUR fault! YOU call da boss!" They shoved him out of the tree and tossed their last quarter at him. (Well… this can't be that bad. ANYTHING is better then that awful awful woman! Just explain what happened! Okay? One Ring… Two ring…) "Yes?" (It's him! Okay, don't panic! Calmly tell him… 'There was a problem and…') "IT WASN'T OUR FAULT! THERE WAS THIS WOMAN! JESSIEBELL AND SHE RUINED IT ALL! WE HAD THE THING AND SHE MADE IT GET AWAY!" (*Clap. Clap. Clap.* Bravo. *Clap. Clap.* I couldn't have been calmer myself.) "Fool! You've failed again! That does it! You are to report to headquarters immediately tomorrow afternoon! I wish to see you in person." "Yes sir! Sorry Sir!" "And be sure you are on time!" CLICK! (Okay… That went well!) "Yes, it did go well… As well as someone talking to an executioner can do!" He muttered. (Now, where did you put that bag of food? I am entitled to a last meal, right?) "I left it in the balloon with Jessie and Meowth...." "You…*Munch!* done yet James?" "Yeah, *chomp!* How did it go?" (Awe…)  
  
This has been, Mindless Theater. We hope you enjoyed the show, and if you didn't, then give us back the complementary teddy bears and go away. Thank you. Join us next time as we take another look into some one else's day and pointless mind. Thank you! Come again!  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, or any of the characters. I do own Mindless Theater though... As far as I know. So hands off! And the teddy bears aren't mine either... they belong to Teddy Roosevelt! (Bet yah didn't know that! See? I do pay attention in school!) And If I left out any of that legal mombo-jombo (that would make a pretty cool song) Then I'm sorry! Don't have a cow! Suing isn't going to get you anywhere! The story has been written, and there's nothing you can do about it but take my dimes! (Not my precious Dime collection! NOOOOOO!!!) Thank you. (I think?)  
  
A/N: This one was harder then the others! I have no idea why though! I mean, James is one of my favorite chars.! I just don't think it was AS good as the mother two. The hardest one. Weird. Huh. Giovanni comes next! -BA 


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